Going for the Gold

Like thousands of other 8-year-olds in the country, I signed up for swimming lessons today. I’ve been telling everyone I’m going to train to be an Olympic swimmer…Just as soon as I learn how! Today was my first time swimming with goggles on. It was awesome! The deep end is so much scarier when you can see how deep it is when you’re in it! My first official lesson is September 7th, their first opening.

I’ve always been told I look like a swimmer (tall, broad shoulders, big flipper-like feet?) so I’m giving it a shot. A stranger I talked to about it asked me wasn’t I too old to start my Olympic pursuits? Geez, all washed up at 28? I don’t think so! It’s never too late to improve yourself, which is what competition is all about anyway.

The Use of Force

I wrote this on vacation in June:

Military & weapons will be needed to defend peaceful countries as long as despotic dictators exist in the world. Violence is a primitive instinct, and one that must be tamed and avoided, but not at the cost of peace.

Some people like to envision an army of skilled diplomats and mediators lining our borders, but the world is not there yet. As long as there are inequities of power, wealth, and resources, countries will use the spectrum of communication/influence available to them: violence on one end, mutual respect/cooperation on the other.

And a note to the President: Countries are not franchises; they’re startups.

Kindness

Someone sent me an email once with a saying or quote at the bottom that read something like this:

“Be extra kind in your dealings with people…you never know what they may have just been through.”

It’s the hardest thing in the world to be kind to someone who is rude or angry with you. It brings up our own insecurities and we usually lash back instinctively. It can help to remember that at least 80 percent of the time their attitude has nothing to do with you, and your response does not have to match theirs in tone. Keep your peace!

Getting Real

It’s about to get real
Real fast

We’ve been living a fantasy
Most of us

Our lenders
Took advantage of our
Lust for comfort

And our keeping up with the Jones’

Now the bank’s taking your house
As the stack of bills climbs
No one else will pay them anymore

And the bubble that held our dreams, our wants
Is bursting everywhere

There are new ghost towns
Where dogs have to find their own food

People will see you for what you are
Are you afraid?

“We’ve all been raised on television to believe that
one day, we’d all be movie gods or rock stars…”
Shit, if they deserved it
So did we.

Or did we miss a step?

Repeated Until Learned

My grandmother wore $1 flat shoes her whole life.
Even after she married someone with money
He didn’t buy her new shoes
Her daughter, my mother, thought she deserved new shoes
Nice, comfortable shoes.
Grandma raised a dozen children and never complained
She was a good person.
She never asked for new shoes
And never got them.

I always had holes in my socks.
I hated going to new people’s houses
Because I might have to take off my shoes
Then everyone would see the holes in my socks
I thought I deserved new socks.
Mom and dad couldn’t buy new socks.
Someone gave us new socks one year.
I was embarassed.

I hated being dropped off at school in our rusty old car.
Everyone else had a nice car that looked new and didn’t make funny noises
I thought I deserved to ride in a nice car

I grew up and studied hard and bought my own new socks
And I never made my friends take off their shoes when they came to my new house
And I gave everyone rides in my new car
I was so generous
I gave lavish gifts
Like no one had ever given us

Then I moved to a new city
And sold my car
And I sold my house
And I started all over.
And I was a good person for a very long time.
But no one bought me anything.
And somehow I thought they should have.
Because grandma deserved new shoes.

On the Brink of Disaster

This describes perfectly how I’m feeling today! But I STILL wouldn’t trade my freedom for another corporate job.

"Self-employment can be described as long hours spent dealing with endless tasks in order to maintain a life of financial insecurity that periodically teeters on the brink of disaster."

Naked

Naked human bodies
Draped over the glittering seashore
Smooth and supple
Vulnerable and innocent

Have you seen them?
They look like another race
Or another era
Rubenesque and shameless,
What happened to our nakedness?

We’ve devoured the planet.
A parasite in a 3-piece suit
Homeostatic inertia
Prevents quick changes
Even when the sky is falling

Together we are virtually unable to act
In the absence of
The smell
Of certain palpable death

This must be how the dinosaurs felt
So large and slow to move.

We are a biofilm
One part linked to 6 billion others
Moving in unison, guided by ancestral instincts

So self-righteous and smart
Distinctly aware of being separate
We play the part of separatists
But none of us holds the strings.

We’ve all done the same things
And had the same ideas.
We paved the world over
To make smooth roads to roll on
In doing so, hastened our work
And our demise
By sucking resources faster

We came to this land just 300 years ago
To find a place to be free.
We didn’t need anything else.

And what did we do with it?
We divvied up the land and
We set up a game where you could trade
A paperclip for a house
As long as you worked harder
And faster
Than your neighbor
And smiled when you bumped into people

But everyone played the game.
Eagerly, too eagerly.
And our frantic exhalations filled the sky
With smoke and poison gases
And our massive steaming piles of feces
Got buried with our giant claws
And we peed into our lakes, our rivers, and our oceans
Until our toxic urine fell like rain
Stinging our eyes
But we kept grabbing.
Because that was the game.

And we didn’t know what else to do
So the President said to work harder
And buy more things
And move faster
Because we all know it hurts to change
And he’ll be dead before the Parasite
Runs out of food.

We all thought we had a hundred years
Before the party was over.
But the lights went out
Her parents came home,
And they yelled at us to leave.

And now we can’t make any more babies
Because they’ll do just what we have done
So we deserted the cities
And left them to the rich.
We put a wall around each one and let them
Bury themselves in their own trash.

Then we started over
And we limited the size of our colony
And we limited the size of each person’s wallet
Because money is power
And power corrupts
Corruption is greed
And greed is a deadly sin

And we enjoyed our nakedness together
And the beauty of life and death,
And celebrated the heroes that passed on their love of freedom
And not their hoards of Monopoly money

And we stopped killing everything around us with bleach
And sprays
And we accepted that a human might get sick
And we accepted that we might die
Because that’s what happens on earth.
Even though they told us we had a right to live.

_______________________________________________

I sterilized my cat.
I felt bad about, but everyone told me it was the right thing to do.
Otherwise, cats could take over the city
Eat all the mice, then the garbage,
Then get sick and spread diseases that kill people.

Well, guess what folks?
We are those cats.
We are already spreading poisons and diseases that are killing people.
We are not innocent.
Each one of us that has chased the American Nightmare
Has collected faster than the waste we trusted others to manage
And killed thousands of people and animals
In pursuit of our parent’s
Mutated dreams for an easier life.

Ahh, the easy life:
The comfortable life.
A life without pain.
A squeaky clean bug-free body
Inside and out
Draped in expensive fabrics and jewels
High on a lonely mountain of man-made treasures
Away from hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, tornadoes
And general Acts of God

And we thought we would be happy.
And we thought we would be safe.

Open

When everything feels like nothing,
And no one is your friend.
All the doors are slamming shut,
And no one seems to care.

Your head is spinning,
It’s full of words,
And you chase each one down.
Grinding your teeth and pulling your hair,
You run yourself into the ground.

When you’ve done all you can,
And it all turned to dust,
And nothing is what you planned,
Take a step back and put your hands down,
Lift your eyes to the sky and just stand.

And the little things you never noticed,
Speak volumes to you then.
Nothing feels like everything
And loneliness is your friend.

You can’t work hard enough
To buy a sunset.
The birds all sing for free.
The emptiness you felt was separation
The void, eternity.

In the end, your blind pursuits
Were just a waste of time.
Small things matter more.
The answers come when you’re out of your head.
Stop running, and open the door.

When It Gets Hard

“If we commit ourselves to staying right where we are, then our experience becomes very vivid. Things become very clear when there is nowhere to escape.”
-When Things Fall Apart, Pema Chodron

“There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. Our own heart is our temple, the philosophy is kindness.”
-Dalai Lama