How will I ever be a leader
Enslaved by my emotions?
I want the drama
But I don’t want it rocking my boat
I’m content to watch it
Like a landscape
From my peaceful ship
Back on a meditation mission
My happiness will not grow on this rocky ground

Why does he take up so much memory?
My RAM is shot
People meet with me
Just to hear the latest chapter
In my life story
Let's keep it interesting!
I remember a first young love
Holding hands in the school hallway
That was so easy
Unlike falling for a celebrity
The information gap is enormous
How much time would one need
To get to know YOU?
And would it ever feel fair?
I need to dive in and out of you at will
No use living so close to the ocean
Otherwise

You don't understand
How much strength
I've had to muster
Not to throw myself at you
And rest against you
Pulsing
Like a magnet
The hourly fight
To clear my brain of this
Murky flood
Is won only by distraction
Total immersion
In anything else
If I open the window
Just a crack
I drown again

Not sure what else to do
So I will write down some words
Need to focus this mind of mine
Need some routines
Some direction
Counting money was grounding today
God knows I can't be trusted to be
Responsibly emotional
So a clean room might be
The stable launching pad I need
For the days to come

Feeling out fate
Images of the desert
Keep flashing across my mind
And I'm supposed to be there
The idea has been planted
So what's my ticket?
I need this vine to grow another leaf
So I can take a step up
Why am I not being fed tonight?

A swirling fairydust
Cell melting
Spellbound fantasy feeling of total
Love, joy, excitement
Heart fluttering
Groin stirring
Mind blowing
Delicious passionate
Bliss-seeking
Survival-leaving
Weaving, squeezing, teasing
Hours-killing playtime

Let's not get ahead of ourselves
This moment is all we've got
Fuck the next ice age and its glaciers
I'm moving to California
Where technology blooms
And cities sleep
And boys hold hands
With flowers in our hair
I came here to dream
So let's paint all the minutes
With the warmth of our sunshine
And pack our bags when the weather gets cold

The deep deep bass
Blowing through my body
Allowing it to move me
Like so many influences
Making it beautiful
Keeping the rhythms
All the way home
Into my life
Onto your skin
I wish we all would dance
When the music plays