I've been duped by myself
My poems are sad jokes
The love that I felt
Was not yours or mine
But life's lust for life
But I'm proud to be part
Of its sexy nonsense
Why fight its nature?
I'm done with that church
And its worship of doors
In the end we succumb
By design we have needs
Best to find the like minds
And live the life you enjoy
Do what makes the heart happy
Go where life says to go
Dance more purely with your man
Let what will be truly be
Everything is happening
Just the way it's supposed to
Whether I knot my stomach
Hold my breath
Or free my heart of its chains
The pieces are already set in motion
I only have control over this moment
And the energy it will carry forward
No one drives a car looking backward
It's all new terrain
I must breathe
And keep my eyes on the road
He delights me and stirs me
Excites and inspires
I can't keep quiet about how I feel
Was it only a dream?
I designed it so well
After I see him
I glow for two days
I radiate love
I make men go weak
They ask me to marry
I almost say yes
Only one week
'Til I'm back in the waves
I'll toil on earth
'Til I'm near Love again
Living too close to chaos
For comfort
Maybe it won't all fall apart
Stop throwing bricks ahead on the path
Stack them beside you
Come up with a plan
Panic ensues when paths are not clear
Plans fall apart
Delays & bad news
But visions of love break up the fog
Glow a nice rainbow
From here to LA
Stare and absorb, feel and remember
Pain is temporary
A shadow on love
A poker for prodding
Get through it today
Maybe tomorrow will feel less heavy
You open me up
Like a flower
I become so sweet and moist
Playful and exuberant
Colorful and exposed
No man can resist
How does one man
Make me love the whole world?
How do you send me so far out
After bringing me so far in?
My heart dances after being with you
And everyone wants to dance along
Now we’re going somewhere
This car’s picking up speed
No one’s moving back with their parents
It’s a crazy circus but the net’s still holding
I bounce upright, wave and smile to the crowd
Cheeks flushed red
Now I’m moving
Now they can see me
It’s only a matter of time
Before I’m top 20 under 40
Because I’m only secretary one day a week
And we’ve all got sugar to sell to those that have lemons
And once we leave our jobs, and follow our visions, and the whole world is drinking lemonade it will be so sweet
So refreshing
We’ll truly be fruitful then
Enjoying the feeling
Of just sitting on my board
In a calm, clear ocean
Surrounded by fog
Hoping for a wave
But absorbing the peace and beauty
Of the power all around me
The currents gently rocking me
A chance to breathe and be
"Your love is like a chunk of gold
Hard to gain and hard to hold"
Wish I had a bucket of zeal
I’d fling it across the universe
In dazzling colors and sparkles
It would fizzle and streak
And cause such delight
But alas
I am passionless
Aimless
And empty
Sad and pondering
Feeling untugged
Is this a place of perfection?
Of forces balanced?
Or is this a place of stagnation?
A place to escape?
Or is my heart just resting
From last week’s attacks?
Does the zebra, once pounced
Ever feel safe standing still?
No longer wanting to play dead
Or crawl in a hole
I’m peeking around
And no one’s paying attention
Climbed to the top
And it’s lonely up here
Wanna make more connections
Give people what they need
Wanna find what consumes me
Wanna sing until I die
Wanna be happy forever
Wanna fly in the skies
Caught my first wave today, woohoo!
Learned:
1) My 2nd toe on my left foot inexplicably goes numb, still works, just loses all circulation – weird.
2) The body gets used to being unstable on the board when paddling/swimming. The mind needs to stop freaking out.
3)Being a wave slut is more fun, and tiring, than being selective.
4)It's ok not to pop up without your hands at first! Keep arms back farther.
5)Swimming on a board is way different than swimming with legs.
6)Timing just as important as balance. Can't get in the wave, can't get up.
7)Yeah, don't hold the board in front of you, like they warn you not to. Chinwhack.
8)Yogic saltwater flushes for the nasal cavities are not necessary, just take a few spills underwater.
9)Sea lions are cooler up close in the water. They really check you out.
10)I need a longer board. 8'2" not quite enough for me. But my 4:3 wetsuit was perfectly warm, although the loose threading gave me a lovely neck rash.