So I’m at home laying in my bed at 1:48pm on a Monday, and that feels wrong. And it’s wrong that it feels wrong!

The conditioning to work 5 weekdays and rest on the weekend is really ingrained in me. Maybe it was the 18 years of school/college 5 days a week, every Monday. Maybe it was the 3.5 years of corporate after that, working steadily every Monday, except 2 weeks a year.

But I’m trying to avoid beating myself up about it. I feel sleepy and I feel like resting. After all, I worked both days this weekend. I coached a private client on Saturday. On Sunday I lead a hiking tour, networked, and held a business presentation. Today already I have sent business emails, calls, and met with another private coaching client for an hour, and now I want to rest.

I shouldn’t feel this guilty!!!!! Society and its conditioning is sick, haha.

You can’t make this stuff up.

This is Izzy the camel, who lives in Eastern Washington. I stopped on my roadtrip over to a wedding to see her because I love camels and was a little surprised to see one out here. Llamas, schmamas. This was a camel! She was very nice, besides the initial growl on my approach, with a very soft nose.

While I was petting her, and the tiny donkey tied to the outside of the post, I started talking to a rough looking old biker guy who came up to pet the camel and donkey.

After a nice exchange he said, “My name is Gary. Most people call me peg-leg.” He knocked on his lower right calf, clearly wooden. He invited me to come back to Walla Walla next weekend to watch his motorcycle drag race.

I met up with mom and dad and we went to the JCPenny to order some blinds for their church. They managed to start a rapture conversation with the store clerk, who shared their Christian beliefs and remarked what a shame it was that people have to ruin the rapture like that.

In the van with my parents, listening to Christian radio, a woman is praising the spirituality of PMS. “…and then in the cycle you get this wonderful surge of estrogen that helps you think clearly…”

In other observations, I was the thinnest person at the Timber Creek Grill Buffet today, except for maybe a 9 year old girl. I blame my new sugar-free diet for my extra sexiness and all the “looks”.

I stopped into the Skippers restaurant to use the restroom and the smell of grease was really nauseating. The bathroom was horrendous (smelled like an outhouse, doors were on their 3rd set of latches that didn’t line up, toilet was running constantly and would not flush) BUT one great feature (surely a mistake) was that the automatic towel dispenser was mounted at least six feet high, meaning you had to make an effort to reach up and wave at the sensor. It worked perfectly, and appeared to have no handprints on it. I would recommend all auto sense dispensers be placed at this level. Because it was so high up, I waved at it with a sense of caution, rather than the usual method of pounding the sensor with the pinky finger side of my fist. Longevity!

I was struck by this poem written on the wall of a gas station restroom along Van Ness Avenue (hwy 101) through San Francisco. Reminds you that we are all human, all very much the same, all dealing with different amounts and kinds of pain.

Today ended up being such a strange day, after two magical whirlwind days. I seemed to go head-to-head with some Scorpios in my life, who have been struggling, feeling fearful, and hiding their emotions. My reaction has been arguing with their negative energy and when it climaxes, pushing them away, far away. I am at such a peaceful, positive place in my life that negative energy is simply unwelcome. I sometimes wish I were a more kind and compassionate person around fearful vibes, but my nature, my instinct, is to instigate, expose and banish/transform rather than to soothe fearful energy.

I also seem to be recycling energy of past relationships. Last fall I dated someone eerily similar to a man I dated in college 10 years ago (my “extended fling”, and within the same non-committed context). This week I found myself with someone who had very similar characteristics to my 9-year relationship partner, only instead of repeating the past exactly I instead chose the opposite route of not accepting a man’s possessive ownership or his way of doing things. At all costs I am striving not to repeat my past mistakes. If “lessons in life are repeated until learned,” at least I am not doing the same things and expecting a different result. Thankfully this new person has recognized that I have in his words “a pure heart,” and that if I push him away it is not in malice. I think only in this way of being really honest with each other can we more quickly realize who we are and who we are not, and what more can you ask of this life? We all just want to grow and form a steady knowledge of ourselves, a sort of firm foundation on which we confidently stand and begin to give of our talents most efficiently to the world.

“I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone.” Alanis Morisette