Cruising the curves of 280
Your dark shadow
Aeroplane
Passed over me
Low and rumbling
My breathing quickened
My cells lifted
Trembled in ecstasy
And settled back onto my bones
Yearly Archives: 2011
Oh, the Estrogen
So, slightly nauseated all day today, and apparently I’m eating for 30. “Jeez Louise!” exclaimed my very young and casual doctor at the ultrasound today, upon examining the follicle sizes. I even got a slightly creepy “That’s a juicy one!” outta him today. Ewww, gross, haha. He better be an extremely gifted surgeon. Surgery is Sunday morning!
Panera Cafe is my new fav “fast food” restaurant. They gave me a choice of chips, bread, or an organic apple for lunch. Organic! TYJ. I had 2 sandwiches for lunch. Very hungry. I am probably craving salt because I woke up with visions of pickles and ice cream. I did have a pickle today and it was oh-so-delicious.
I have new symptoms today: I keep getting lost VERY easily and forgetting things. I am blaming this entirely on crazy estrogen levels. I also am quite amorous and have been fantasizing about 75 percent of my day away. Come to think of it, this may help explain my getting lost and forgetting things. It’s like I am so incredibly fertile today that my body can’t help but think about ways to take advantage of the situation.
I realize probably less than 1 percent of the population could relate to what I’m going through today. I have yet to meet another egg donor actually. Then again, it’s not something people casually bring up in normal conversation. I’m kinda glad this is the last one. My body has been through a lot and I’m ready to move on to new adventures ;-)
Ovaries
Yowza! Feeling a little nauseated this morning and moving much more slowly. The doctor made a funny comment yesterday about how they expect to retrieve about 20 eggs, which is way more than they need. He also said my cycle goes extra fast–most women take 12 days to develop the follicles and once I start taking follicle stimulating hormones it only takes 8-9 days for them to be ready. They’ve cut my medication 3 times already this cycle. I noted to them that I might not need as much meds due to the fact that I am 10lbs lighter than I have been doing previous cycles. Fertile Myrtle!
I do feel softer in the heart region. My face looks rounder. I have been eating more since being on the meds, and my sleep cycles are off due to naps I’ve been taking in the early evenings to ward off the cold that’s been going around town. So far, so good!
It’s pouring down rain today. I have been feeling more emotional about things in general. A soft rain starting falling during practice and I thought it was just lovely and soft the way it was hitting the skin. Later, a thunderstorm and accompanying downpour made me smile and raise my eyebrows in excitement. I could feel the energy of the storm absorbing into me. The people around me didn’t seem to be reacting the same way! Songs are sounding new and I want to write more poetry…
Off for another ultrasound and blood draw this morning…
LPG
My heart beats and a thousand kisses take flight
Maybe one will catch a breeze
And land on your lips
Or your cheek
Your chest
What are the chances
We would meet in this lifetime?
Two hands reaching out
We pulled each other in
Navigating a river
That was long dreamed for us
It carries them too
All the sexy, courageous artists,
Life-crafters and body surfers
I know you’re in my waters
Let’s see where this goes…
My Speech Before the Entertainment and Youth Commission of San Francisco
Thank you President and Commissioners for the opportunity to speak tonight. My name is Christina McKinstry and I’m 30 years old. I am an athletics coach/faculty lecturer at San Francisco State University. My degree is in environmental chemical engineering.
I have been attending raves since college, about ten years. I enjoy the light shows, the colorful people, the peace and love vibes, and the original and inspiring music. I love to dance and share that joy with others. It’s important to recognize that not all rave goers are irresponsible drug users, or drug users at all.
The city’s recent actions against safe and permitted dance parties are unjustified and are going to backfire. This affects more than just San Francisco’s youth. I attended a wonderful New Year’s party that was perfectly permitted, peaceful, and safe but officers shut it down before midnight seemingly on the basis that electronic dance music was being played. It was an exclusive well-planned party attended by mostly 30to40 year old professionals. Instead I ended up moving to a fun but less safe house party.
My understanding and concern is that the proposed CA legislation and unwritten city policies do not have any provision for safe, private, permitted parties, which is only going to result in more unsafe, underground parties that fewer responsible adults and role models will have interest in attending and traveling to our city for.
I want the city to recognize that people from all walks of life enjoy this music scene and to agree to provide safe opportunities for us to meet with our friends at large outdoor public venues or at small private parties to enjoy the music we like.
Thank you.
New Life
Anything to take me deeper,
Further away,
Closer to the light.
I’m absorbing now
Not kicking much out
Too much to take in.
I’m only 30
These years are just bonus lives
Time to tinker and have some fun!
Progress
Got the call back that my estrogen was a bit high today so they are dialing me back. Puppies and children seemed especially cute to me today :-)
The injections are making me a tad nauseous but just at the time of dosage. I ate three full meals today despite not really being that hungry all day, and 4 girl scout cookies. Too much really. Bleh. No more exercise starting today. Starting to feel tender in the abdomen.
Had fun with roommate A tonight doing makeovers at dailymakeover.com . We were up past midnight messing around on that site. So much fun living with a fellow narcissistic Leo! I am really getting into this hair and makeup thing. What a difference it can make.
Poor athlete got in another car wreck today. Very shaken up. Reminds me of myself and my 3 college car accidents. I would like to encourage her to take a defensive driving class (even though she was not the driver in this past accident). I did not have any accidents after I took that Smith’s defensive driver training and I felt much more empowered to control my own safety on the road.
Tomorrow night is the hearing about rave parties in San Francisco at City Hall. I probably will share my NYE story in hopes that similar parties won’t be shut down in the future. Such a shame. www.savetherave.org
Warriors
We ran through the fields together
In the dark
Our faces painted
Our intentions married
Our weapons near
Save the Rave
Found myself at an organizing meeting against a city ordinance proposal banning electronic music parties in the city tonight. It was interesting hearing the perspectives tonight of DJ’s, party promoters, underground DJ’s, and later a security guard (my housemate) who’s had to deal with drugged out teenagers at a dubstep rave, and a 40-year-old whose fully permitted NYE party (I attended) got shut down because of ELECTRONIC MUSIC.
Then found myself at a swanky financial district singles mixer, where I somehow managed to purchase a perfectly-fitting wedding dress from a charity “The Princess Project” so that I can wear it for the Brides of March (www.bridesofmarch.org) or for some other future artsy reason. LML
I was wearing a totally funky long green dress with a tight black sweater cardigan with skulls and tattoos, a purple beret, and black boots tonight. It was so colorful and awesome, and really VERY unique and so different from anything the corporate clones were wearing all over downtown. I really felt like playing a colorful character tonight, and it was a blast. So many curious looks and smiles warmed my heart while walking around downtown. Love spreading the love!
I can’t really tell if my daily low-dose testosterone shots or my heart bursting with love is creating the awesome magicalness that has been this past week. I have noticed that I have been incredibly attractive, in every sense of the word: all sorts of good things and people and opportunities are finding me. I have been meditating/thinking a lot about how it feels to be in love, with the heart just pried open and pouring forth its gifts and gratefulness (recreating how I feel about someone I’ve been seeing). The longer I can stoke that fire and keep it going, the more magic I experience. By magic I mean good things materializing not long after a concept is created. I went on Craigslist on Sunday night, totally broke, and by Monday morning had $50 in my bank account and an unrelated new job opportunity. I’m getting 3-4 times the hits/mail from dating websites, every day. I thought about how nice it would be to go out to eat at a restaurant and someone bought me a dinner just for my company and knowledge of the oil industry. This weekend I got a free massage, a free ticket to an international film. One of my athletes just told me in an email how much she appreciates me! It’s just all been crazy good. Or maybe the universe just knows I’m trying to bring another life into the world this month so it is pampering me for my efforts, haha.
Will keep posting as my more intense medications will start on Friday, hormonal shifts will get very interesting then…
Here We Go!
Ushering in the magic
Welcome to my cotton candy palace!
Fly on in, swirl around my head
And dazzle me with your dreams.
I built this mansion last week
Out of love and light and ecstasy
Why wouldn’t they all want to come?