Just had a thought about parts versus the whole: The more independent you believe a person (or a system) is, the more likely you are to punish them if they fail. This may explain why the US has the highest incarceration rates IN THE WORLD. The old west attitude of “I pulled myself up by my bootstraps” fosters this attitude of severe independence that is not balanced with society as a whole.

Republicans are fond of highlighting business owners who started a profitable business “all on their own”. In fact, no one can create a business in a void. There are usually landlords, suppliers, regulatory agencies, and of course, CLIENTS.

The Republican party is also fond of such statements that favor the individual over the collective, such as gun control, anti-abortion, and smaller government.

It’s like our politics is personifying this ego vs. collective dynamic balance to the extremes.

The democratic side tends to look out for the whole group: social services, bigger government, more taxation of wealthy to balance the economic pain, recognizing that some people are profiting at the other’s expense.

I’m not saying either extreme is correct, but I’m definitely siding more toward the holistic or “whole picture” model over individual. This does come at a cost, and democracy is correct to balance group needs with individual needs, as we wouldn’t want to lose freedoms granted to individuals. However, sometimes the price for freedom is incarceration, rather than rehabilitation and identifying causal factors.

The older and wiser I get, the more I find myself distanced from drama.

There’s a biological reason for this. Are you ready?

If you closely analyze drama, it looks a lot like a sympathetic nervous system response: fight or flight. Drama is one person attacking another person, and that other person either fighting back or changing the subject, leaving, or being passive aggressive: Fight or flight.

Think of a roommate/lover drama situation you’ve found yourself in. You felt attacked. At that point you have a choice: let your “instincts” kick in – fight or flight.

OR………..

You can exercise option number 2: Listen, Love, and Problem-Solve.

Love is the only solution to drama.

I had someone admit to me recently: “Yeah, I’m having a lot of drama with my roommate, but it’s whatever, because I don’t care about her that much anyway.”

BINGO!!!

That admission is the source of all your drama with that roommate. Even if you haven’t said it straight out to her, she senses you don’t care about her. People are more sensitive than they like to show. She can tell by your actions and reactions that you don’t care about her, so she can’t give you a “Listen, Love, and Problem-Solve” response to anything you say, because she knows it won’t be returned. Instead, you get a fight or flight response from her.

And you get drama.

Someone told me recently that I appear “strategic” in my responses to people, as if my intelligence allows me to navigate personal conflicts. No! It is my COURAGE, not my intellect, that allows me to remain calm and not get caught up in drama.

You see, it is SCARY when someone appears to attack you with their words, or their silence! They may accuse you of something, they may say hurtful things, they may seemingly tell you they don’t love or care about you by what they say or do.

But if you truly love and care about a person, you have the COURAGE to look past their words and find the kernels of truth and the love behind what they are expressing. Always look for the good in a person, and you will find it.

It takes COURAGE to believe that you can get along with anyone. That you won’t be rejected by anyone. That you will never lose someone’s love. You must always act AS IF you will never lose someone’s love in order not to lose someone’s love. Understand?

It takes COURAGE not to go on the defensive when someone goes on the offensive against you. That’s why they say fools defend and offend.

The wise remain calm and look for creative ways to love, creative ways to solve problems. Getting caught up in drama taxes your nervous system and wastes your energy. And you don’t have energy to waste, right?

Keep calm and carry on.

And have the COURAGE to love, the courage to care, to look past our most primal nervous instincts that once kept us alive, but now keep us apart.

Walking past Civic Center tonight, I’m wondering what the heck is going on there. There are all these strange-shaped temporary buildings up for some kind of event that looks interesting but I haven’t even heard about it.

It seems like the internet has past its point of usefulness to me. Once you have access to all the events and all the parties all the time, you somehow again find yourself with no access to the information you need to make a decision, as it’s all buried in the other information. You then find yourself relying on talking to people again to find out stuff. “What? You didn’t see that on my Facebook page?” No! I never see anything useful on Facebook anymore, unless someone directly brings it to my attention or they just happen to be in my fab five algorithm or however the hell Facebook is promoting status updates these days.

Sometimes, less IS more.