Somehow I ended up in love with a Mexican American, and drunk on tequila and antifreeze fireball whiskey in San Diego tonight, dancing the waning full moon away to a mariachi band on my love’s 26th birthday night, speaking and singing in Spanish, and pausing to sober up by going jogging down streets named, provocatively, “Old Memory Lane,” and then, trying to find a way back, “Gravity Lane,” which quickly halted me in a forested dead end. This all seemed ominously symbolic at the time, so I turned around and jogged back up Old Memory Lane, passing an RV on the way back which read “Pride of the Heart.” I have yet to figure out what the Universe was trying to tell me. But it was a really nice night.

I got a flu shot and TDAP vaccine last week. My arms hurt immensely near the injection site (more of a dull soreness) for a couple of days. For the past 5-6 days, I was unable to assemble any tote bags due to cramping and pain in my hands and forearms. I don’t recall using my handheld devices any more. I did do a lot of bags last Friday (74), so the combo of fatigue plus vaccine stress probably got to me. I’m slightly better today.

The moon is nearly full and gorgeous.

I’m looking forward to a weekend with my honey for his birthday.

I still miss my kitty.

My shoulders hurt, a lot, in the days after my flu shot and Tdap. Now, my forearms are cramping but it *could* be due to overworking them last Thursday night/Friday morning.

I’m the grim reaper this year.

I’ve set up a way to get back into hammer throwing weekly. Looking forward to dancing with an old friend.

Sleepy eyes.

I’ve been making a ton of FluffyCo bags recently so my motivation to post things has diminished as I stave off RSI, heh.

Having lived with chronic, well, chronic-users nearly all my time in the Bay Area has me thinking more about drugs and their effect on the brain. I’m grateful for my generally pleasant disposition. I’m grateful for my generally very upbeat brain chemistry. Life is not usually a dark place for me. But I’ve been to those dark places, with and without the use of serotonin and dopamine-altering chemicals, and it makes me even more grateful for my natural state of being, which is basically a natural, mild high.

I read recently about mushrooms’ long-term effects on brain chemistry, including the increased prevalence of synesthesia and, ahem, gravitation toward an appreciation of the arts (both of which I have had long before any altered experiences.)

My natural synesthesia was very strong today, which was fun and awesome. Although, living in the Bay Area, you get exposed to so much second-hand MJ smoke on a regular basis during festivals, concerts, walking down the sidewalk, and through housemates, etc., that you can start to wonder what your baseline exposure really is, and how much brain chemistry is altered chronically.

I don’t feel worried about it, especially as long as my decision-making abilities and self-reflection/self-talk seem to be balanced and intact. I’m not sure the clinical definition of mental health, but I suppose it involves having things generally going well in your life, balanced mood states, etc.

My forearms are starting to bug me so that’s probably all for now. G’night.