Blistering skin
Boiling from the heat of a
Broken heart
Pumping white light now
With every beat
Shedding layer after layer
Like a furnace
You throw your wood on my fire
And I devour every log
Melting in my mouth
I taste every angle
Chew every splinter
Knowing it’s good for me
To swallow swords
And be cut deeply by them
Until my insides bleed
My outsides shake
And I run until my body forgets
Its allegiance to my twisted thoughts
And begins to open up again
To Love

Sometimes we get confused
We need a warm body
And we need a partner
Someone who gets us
Someone on the same page
We want both now
But partners take time
They’ve got to pass some tests
They’ve got to stick around
They never told us that
They let us think it was a moment
Like it is in the movies
But it’s really only obvious
When it’s a story being told

It’s so hard to be in the thick of things
Unable to see the future
Trusting that your wave is coming
And you’ll be ready to hop on board

I hate the thought of limitations
That my reach won’t save your soul
Trusting blindly in principles that have seen me through
Not knowing if they’ll work for you

I hate that I’m laying in the sun for a day
While homeless still sleep on our streets
I’m frustrated with the pace of adaptation
We’re smarter and more connected than this

Am I really doing what I can
To maximize my gifts?
Hate to see those around me struggle
Years are surely passing
Nothing is changing
My patience is wearing thin.

Take it easy
Don’t let the sound of your own wheels
Make you crazy
The pace of the vehicle
The stops for maintenance
The fact that she needs a new paint job
It’s the desert now
A little hot
A little arid
Vacuous
But over those mountains
Are greener pastures
Beautiful landscapes
Let’s just keep going
We’ll make it to the gas station soon
We’ll cool off a little there
And enjoy the new views

Tired of chasing phantoms
The opera is far from over
And the audience gasps
As the gentleman appears, stage left

Forgive me

I did not trust you

Forgive me

I’m crying tears of regret

My words spoke of fear

Of intolerance

Of not understanding

When what I meant to say was

I’m sorry

I’m listening

I don’t need your validation of my experience

I don’t need for you to be perfect today

I don’t need you to follow in my footsteps

I can love you as you are

And that love will take us both to God

Enough recycling
It’s getting clearer
If we only could agree now
On what our purpose is
We’re still not as connected
As technology allows us
We still have needs out there
And those who could fill them
We’re not efficient yet
We could turn this economy
Around in 3 months
If every talent
Could find its outlet
Then every soul
Could feel their worth
Don’t be afraid now
To let someone help you
It’s an honor you bestow

16,000 days to go
Let’s fill each one with magic and love and dreams manifested

Lulled into promises of safety
Anesthetized by your labor
Working paycheck to paycheck
With no end in sight
Sitting at the bottom of a corporate pyramid
Feeling the weight of the wallets above you
Glancing up through that glass ceiling
You’re agreeing to a culture that’s half-alive
And family relations that are half-destroyed
Cause the work’s not that important
If you can’t share your love
And what will you do when the layoffs come?
Where there’s a will, there’s a way
To live the life of your dreams
Don’t just passively agree with whoever dreamed this scheme

I ate the fruit
From the forbidden tree
It’s all a running to or running away from love
You showed me how fun
My life could be
Then I ran toward and you ran away from love
He showed me how intimate life could be
Then I ran away and he ran away from love
Are we vessels for love?
Then how pure are we?
As the plants follow sun we are drawn to love
It takes work to be present to another’s needs
To give and receive is a lesson in love
To really be honest and say what you mean
Is a way of respecting and honoring love
But a discipline too
Why not cursing is practice in finding right words
And our heart thumps in love
When truth eloquently speaks
Give your love through your breath
Say just how you feel
People can bear more pain
Than we allow them to know
And through pain comes a depth
Richness of understanding
That sugar-coated half-truths
And allusions can’t touch
I’m ready to reach deeply into my soul
Start with ones closest you
Lay it bare and feel whole

Lusting for cracks in the concrete
I wanna watch everything
Just fucking collapse
Into piles of rubble
The shots in the air tonight
A wakeup call
What are you doing with your life?
Live on the precipice
The knife’s edge of comfort
Do something every day
That scares the shit out of you
We’re full of it anyway
Yeah, you’re full of shit
When you don’t live up to the glory
Your ancestors left you with
What else is there to do in life
But risk, shine, build
Start a god-damned fire
And bask in its heat
Suck the blood out of the neck of life
And enjoy its intoxicating effects
Feel your system light in bliss
Close your eyes and start dancing
Let your heart break and bleed
Until you attract a nurse with a soft blanket
Stop saying
“I like you”
And wrap your thousand arms around this life

Your beats weave through me
As the wind licks my skin
I close my eyes
And the memories start dancing
Like the way he looked at me
And the times I’ve been loved
And how it’s always changing
Like a good house track
So I savor this moment
With his hand in my hand
Because at 4:16
He’s ending the song
Then I’ll swim in the terror
Of the void of his love
But this time we’ll talk
And he’ll pull at my chain
And remind me the story
I’ve told to myself
About how good it feels
To do just as they said
And I’ll remember the purity
Of the days of my youth
When there was just one man
In my future for sure
Before I learned how to give
Of myself to another
Before I learned to take care of myself in the mix
Before my family tree sprouted six rogue branches
And the colors took over
What was once black and white

Most of the action
Takes place in our brains
We forget we are animals
Flesh, blood, muscles, oxygen

The bodies suffer
Fat, weak, slow, dying

Unless you’re ready
To be a disembodied head
I suggest living more
Like the raw beast nature intended

How does your heart feel?
Heavy with fog?
Locked down in chains?
Did you forget the feeling of flying free?
The magic is in your wizardry
Wave a wand in your mind
And you can create
A softness, the temperature
That would make your heart happy
Dismiss anyone
Who messes with the switch
Constantly
Erase the thoughts
That produce the chemicals
That invade the heart
Demean the spirit
Make you feel anything other than
Safe, powerful, bright, and loving

A pilot
Ja fei ji
The sun’s synergy
A tee shirt
These earrings
More Aries in love
I saw them
While dancing
We finally meet
The most powerful sign
In chaos we thrive
I kiss them goodbye
My long lost friends
Thanks everyone
For enjoying my party

Mythological madness
A grape walked by
Took a scissor to the whizzer
Why did God create us so?
Maniacal meltdown
Every crazy thing you said
Blooms so beautifully
Time for a catfight
Poised for success
I took my wishes to the well
Memorizing magic
I threw them all away
Zip up your lip up
It’s impossible to believe
It’s true about the magnets
We like to think we’re special

Life is but a dream
Too short to dwell on pain
Creating worlds of misery
A waste of precious time
My heart is in the clouds
You’re grounded in what’s “real”
Come with me higher up
And get a better view

You have the ability to remain calm
You have the ability to respond with respect
You have the ability to smile at the absurdity
You have the ability to summon great powers

If you choose to accept these gifts
You’ll be granted a peace
That requires no wisdom
A following
To make a rock star blush
A grace
That dances night and day

For deep within all
Is the knowledge
That distinctions are false
Disagreements are hailstorms
Communications ease fears

‘Cause these brains, rapid thoughts
Create dissonant waves
Bubbles of distraction
Illusions of safety
That keep us forgetting our faith and reliance

On the ever-present rhythms
Of the world that spins us
The sun that warms us
The universe that incubates us
The energy that binds us

Kept myself in a tight box
For a long time
Now that I’m free of the walls
I can walk so far in any direction
Sometimes I lose track
Just testing the new limits
And wander back to center
Awed by the delights
I’ve found outside myself
That must also be found within
What a colorful life I’ve painted
Stretched beyond comfortable

Lazy thoughts build mountains
Erect high walls
Leave you knee-deep in cement

But once you’re running free
And moving faster
A pleasant breeze cools your face

Suddenly it all seems very easy
And you wonder what took you so long
To begin

Whispering in the dark
The empire is crumbling
All the trophies we collected
Buried in the rubble of our fears

Still encountering boulders
Rafting ever down this river
Still freaking out occasionally
Hitting at them with my paddle
Thinking again
With the wrong third of my brain

The animal reactive
The calculator

Vestiges of an ancient world
Where we ran for our lives
And communicated with words
Ever in crisis

But we’re remembering
With each surge of adrenaline or despair
Our real intelligence
Has no thoughts, no language

We only just move, play and love

Facing strangers
Shattering our shells of glass
I reach out and touch the case you came in
I like this one
It amuses me
And I need to be amused

I want my illusions smashed

I want to run my hands all over your body
To feel my soul
My numb, empty, hollow insides
That only fill with love or rage

I blow my worries away
Cuz they shake the vessel
I need to be calm
Or alive and glowing intensely
This life is a dream
And we live it like it’s real

I want to swim in the wonder
Of you and I
And drown in the madness of it all

I want to penetrate through this skin
From the inside

Dissolve it
And meld into One

Dreaming now with my eyes wide open
Behaving in such an expectant way
Sure of God’s wondrous plans for me
That I turn to the universe
Blushing
And say, please, no more gifts
This is truly excessive

In the smallest acts of kindness and mercy
Does God reveal how little faith we have
How rarely we practice what we preach
How occasionally we allow ourselves
To feel as good
As Loved
As we imagine when we read of God’s Love

As if Love were a butterfly
An infrequent visitor
A flash of inspiration
And not the air we breathe

You’re all moving with me
In the rising tide of my life
I look around
So much more now
Really look
And all IS full of love
If we are all just energy
Then easy is right
And stopping is wrong

Energy must be loosed

Your frozen limbs atrophy and die
So move them in the way
Life instructs you
Though it makes no sense
And others scratch their heads
Your movement indeed
Is what sets you free

You want to put a patent on me
Copyright me
Protect your asset
The thing you have found
Gained by hard work
Or maybe not

You want to own me
Like a capitalist
All to yourself
For the first few years
So I’m more valuable
Keep all the rights

You want to cover me up
Hide me from men
Keep me a secret
So that only you profit

You are scared
I’ll get carried away
And shared with the world
Out of control
Changed and unable
To take care of you
And all that is yours

Well I’m as free
As the ideas
That came through you
And just as loyal
To your best interest

I am an honor
So fuck our hypocrisy
Let’s start a new ism

Hamburgers on TV
Fine, a sign
Houses painted white
Blind the scorpion
Take me deeper in
Just what I needed
Melt away my anxiety
Let me be here now

Refocusing
On the amazing gifts life has for me
Every day
Little by little
Stopping thinking
About what I’m not getting

Trying to escape this mental maze
Need to keep looking for openings
Don’t panic at the dead ends
Just turn around and keep walking
With eyes wide open, heart wide open
Stop fixating on immovable walls
The ones I built with my mind

The Universe just wants me to be free
So it can move me
With fluid dynamics, down the path of least-resistance
Toward an efficient resolution
Do I trust her intentions?

I feel like I fucked it up
It’s fun taking ownership
Realizing everything that goes south for you
Was caused by you
And your willingness to kill something beautiful
Right in front of you
Because you’re not ready, or not stable, or not believing, or not capable
Or not standing on your own two feet
If you can remember where in hell you put them

A well-timed illness
A surgery
A grand mystery
For you and me?

A lull in work
To think and reflect
Drama removed
So I can sit with yours?

These days I feel
So close to God
I hear his poets
What goes on behind the scenes

It feels so empty
When you’re free
We’re beasts of burden
Naturally

God wanted to dance
I still resist
Never have been good
At being led

I feel like a seed
Small and innocuous
To any casual observer
But
I’ve been shoved deep into fertile soil and I’m about to burst open
Wildly in all directions
With roots that take hold
Colors that charm
And tendrils that climb and scream for the sky

You were sewn from an infinite thread
That’s why Love keeps tugging at your heart
The Lover misses you
When you’re lonely
Come back!

Don’t you remember
Getting everything you wanted?
You still do!

Desire is a powerful magnet
So be careful what you wish for
Run it up the flagpole
Make a list and check it twice
When the nets you cast are empty
Or brim full of surprises

Push on, little human
You’ve got a job to do on this planet
And you’re just now learning to aim this big gun

Even the boys know it’s about trust and surrender
And retiring from your post
As general manager of the universe

When are you going to quit your job
And start showing up for work?

The world needs your pink afro
Your penchant for threesomes, stupid jokes, and mushroom honey
Why else would it ask you to be born?

Use your glorious mind to imagine doing the only thing the universe asks you to do: Thrive, thrive, thrive!

Sing!
It’s just a black ant crawling on a white elephant anyway
Stark but pretty inconsequential
From a distance
What matters is that the big guy’s breathing
And munching on some grass
And the little guy is eagerly navigating the hairs
Making his way across the surface
Going nowhere, really
But you insist on sitting and staring at them
And I am drawn in

I must trust the expanding waves
The ones that pull on my heart
Begging it to free itself
I must smother the contracting waves
The ones that set the hamster spinning
Flinging worry and fear
Still learning who to trust
Who to listen to
Inside my head
More than ever
I need the company of my heart
When visiting that booby-trapped, overgrown jungle

They’re so full of lies
The angry prisoners of this world
Their minds are mush
They were bitten by zombies
And on they go recruiting in misery

I’ve been bitten so many times
When I thought I was safe
By parents, friends, teachers,
Professors, coaches, lovers

We get sick sometime after
Can’t figure out why we feel bad
The toxin is multiplying
Feeding off our fears

It’s a lifelong mission
To surface and purge the venom
And to keep your mouth shut
Your teeth to yourself
Especially around children
Until the pain subsides

Deeply present
With the nothingness I felt in her
The profound sense of a today
That’s been violently shook of its yesterday and tomorrow
A blank canvas
A swept room
A register at zero
An orphan, a widow
A traveler in a vast landscape
Not ready to dream
Still grieving my murders
The children I’ve drowned
The lessons I’ve learned
Never felt so naked
In front of the world
Never wanted so badly
To find out who I am

With my eyes closed
I saw into my large body
Seven semi trailer trucks
Lined along a highway
Along a meadow
Along a river
I awed and thrilled in the enormity
The spaciousness inside
I thought I knew about my size
By looking at things outside

Deeply alone and happy
Is where I’ve found them
The rare kindreds, looking knowingly
Into my eyes with timeless recognition
Mostly children, animals
A rare free-spirit at the bus stop
It’s an off-season in this national park
Spacious, quiet bliss
Must be present to win in this raffle
And I’m getting all the gifts

My dreams are like the sun
Strong
And I’ve visited a million breath-taking
Heart-melting
Color-rich scenes
Hot with vivid intensity
Though I lived too long in the comfortable cool shade, sticking a hand or foot into the light for a recharge.
But I know now
My home is in the sky
Warmed by the fire of my dreams’ actions
I can live every day where eagles fly
Where birds sing
High in perspective
And where the clouds go to melt, so they can give themselves away

Hallucinating tiny people
Wearing grey suits
With stripes of flashing neon
Dancing around to no music
Tripping off chocolate raisins and popcorn
My life is my center
My life is my center
My life is my center
My life is my center
They’re all in on it
I see that now
Everyone smiling from their
Normally concealed
Recessed caves
When I call out the Divine in them
Like magic
The Divine takes over
And greets me

My soul feels no older or wiser
Only less trapped
In this body

Less limited, restricted
More free to be moved by the currents
That feed us and surprise us
More able to see things clearly
Less colored by my fears

I’ve entered a land of wonder and praise
And thanksgiving
For all that is

I wasn’t the little girl
Who dreamed of a big white wedding
Or planned her colors
Her flowers
Her bridesmaids

I just remember
Asking God
To prepare a good man for me

Cruising the

curves of 280

Your dark shadow
Aeroplane
Passed over me
Low and rumbling
My breathing quickened
My cells lifted
Trembled in ecstasy
And settled back onto my bones

My heart beats and a thousand kisses take flight
Maybe one will catch a breeze
And land on your lips
Or your cheek
Your chest
What are the chances
We would meet in this lifetime?
Two hands reaching out
We pulled each other in
Navigating a river
That was long dreamed for us
It carries them too
All the sexy, courageous artists,
Life-crafters and body surfers
I know you’re in my waters
Let’s see where this goes…

Anything to take me deeper,
Further away,
Closer to the light.
I’m absorbing now
Not kicking much out
Too much to take in.
I’m only 30
These years are just bonus lives
Time to tinker and have some fun!

Warriors

Here We Go!

Let Go and Let God Play

Sitting on the emptiness
Haven’t tried out the new me
Basking in the slowness
Duty-free, peaceful, at ease
Riding out the calm
Till Aries comes my way
Have a feeling when it does
I won’t rest again till May
Lining up my ducks
Feels like something I should do
But I’m happy watching clouds
For another week or two

You’re better than that
You’re better than that
You’re better than that
You’re better than that

Going where the wind blows me
But stretching out my wings, surfing the currents with flair, and enjoying the views
I’m so high
The sun is always on me now
Let me stay up here
A while longer

My heart is riding on a giant bubble
That’s about to burst
With the knowledge of the energy of the universe
That excites itself most in
Lowly creatures
With minds of metal
And intuitions of glory.
More reason than ever
To seek the guidance of that power and its lucid dreams that ripple like waves through our existence,
Dead or alive
All the more reason to celebrate the stupid confidence of a beam of light
Checking itself out
In a tiny mirror
At 600 million miles an hour
What the fuck?–as the light bounces back–This is NOT A DREAM?????

Be careful the company you keep
Everyone carries a dream
Do our dreams produce the magic?
Are you ready for your heaven?
Lifted to a state of being
Only I believed was real
Will you meet me, blissed again
On that cloud designed by us?

So grateful
That the master pastry chef
Is watching over my life
Turning up the heat at just the right time
Patiently waiting while I transform
Not opening up the door
When my cries leave like steam
I know I’ll be just the right color when he takes me out
Stay in here with me
We’ll be so delicious

Want to be so light and free
A spherical buoy in the cruel ocean
Letting the rich wisdom and history of the waves that touch me
Move me most efficiently
Most purely
Wanna know that I’m floating
Even when I’m spinning
Wanna know that I hit you
With just the right amount of force
Perfectly transferred
Perfectly communicated

You meet me like flashes of light
Bright spots in the gray of my life
I drink you like glasses of water
Always thirsty, I never get enough
Only one like Jupiter
Gravity so strong
Covered in stardust
I get sucked into you

I’m on an 80s television
Demonstrating drills
With static and fuzz
Some are watching for the lesson
Some want to know how bold they can be

BETTER

MAN UP

GONE

SIDERAILED

POETRY AND SCIENCE

TAKING IN

LIGHT SEASONS

SECURITY

IT’S SIMPLE, REALLY

BREAKTHROUGH

SHINE WITH ME

THE NEXT LEVEL

STRANGELY REAL

LOVE EQUATION

TAME THE BRAIN

FAIRYTALE

SOMEDAY NUN

WHEN

BALANCE AND THE FUTURE

LETTING GO

TODDLERS

OVERFLOWING

GETTING READY FOR BLASTOFF

EXPAND

MEANDERING

WHERE-TO NOW?

WANNA BE STOKED

HOW IT SHOULD BE

RECKLESS AT HEART

M.E.

THE PRUNING

HELL

INFINITE DUO

SOFT AND CALM

NOT BEING USEFUL

DIM LIGHT

HOPING

ENJOYING THE VIEWS

THE JOKE IS ON ME

BREATHE NOW

CAN’T HIDE THE LIGHT

LOVING OUT

UP AND UP

SITTING

MOTIONLESS

GROWTH (65/1000)

NEXT STEP?

MISSING YOU

ON FIRE (63/1000)

TAPPING IN (62/1000)

WANNA CONNECT (61/1000)

FROM BAGGAGE TO BLISS (60/1000)

CARES TO THE WIND (59/1000)

MIND EXPLORATIONS (58/1000)

LET’S TALK (56/1000)

THE NEXT LEVEL (55/1000)

LARGER (53/1000)

LIKE THIS (52/1000)

ALMOST THERE (50/1000)

DEVASTATED (48/1000)

COMING DOWN (45/1000)

PLAYTIME (43/1000)

LIVE NOW (42/1000)

DANCE PARTY (41/1000)

DREAMS OR DESTINY? (39/1000)

PISCES PICTURES (37/1000)

REDEFINING (35/1000)

ENTERTAINED (34/1000)

SOLDIERS OF PEACE (31/1000)

DEPRESSED (28/1000)

Monday, August 02, 2010