Perhaps I’m suffering from a bit of hedonic happiness disorder. Dr. Aymee Coget explains that when you go after something you think will make you happy, after you get it, you will be unhappy again within 3 months. She says you adapt to your new environment then crave more change. This is a “hedonic treadmill.” This may explain what happens to me every 3-5 years. I get really flatlined about the work I’m doing or the way my life looks and want to just shake it all up. I must be extremely impatient because the moment I realized I had hit the environment I wanted after my first “real job” (a nice house, landscaped back yard, nice car), I IMMEDIATELY quit my job. No three months waiting for me!

So I’m wondering how much of my esteemed “ambition” is just hedonic, pointless pursuits of something “outside” myself that I think will make me happy, and how much is truly me searching for my own authentic expression in the world. This is where I’m tripping up today. Hmmmmm.