The America you see now is a shaky house built on a strong foundation.

We wanted to be free. We wanted to be fair. We wanted a small government.

Then we were blessed with resources beyond our imaginations. Fertile soils, rushing rivers, gold, oil, coal, and hard-working, adventurous people.

We were offered the apple, and the traitor robber barons with green-lensed glasses put a fence around the tree. Conservation be damned; today’s dollars are worth more than tomorrow’s.

We didn’t have the laws to prevent it, so we added them, and grew the government a little larger to enforce them. And the larger it got, the easier it was to buy a slice here or there.

So how do we get back on track?

How far do we tear down the walls and with what do we re-build?

Must we always fight the "me" versus "we"? What is the right size of government needed to protect freedom? To protect us from ourselves?

We recognize now we are not free. We must now fight the enemy among us. The enemy that plays by our rules. We gave up our freedoms long before the Patriot Act. We permitted their greed hoping we’d get a slice at the end of the day.

But the rich got richer, and greed bred greed. I’ll be happy when…I make enough money to live off the interest.

How can you be happy while your neighbor suffers?

"What you thought was real in life
Somehow steered you wrong,
Now you just keep drivin’ tryin’
To find out where you belong.

I know you feel helpless now
and I know you feel alone
That’s the same road,
The same road that I am on."

-3 Doors Down, The Road I’m On lyrics

Devouring tasty light
Savouring every molecule
I lick the light off my lips

Expert wall builders
A word hits us sideways
And we throw up a steel wall

I’m practicing to
Tear down that wall!
Right after I throw one up.

I don’t want to live in
Those lonely, dark shadows
Of my own walls anymore

Forgetting is easy
When words hit you like light
Just keep your rose-colored lenses on

People’s fears reek like death
You are punished for your fear
By those that love you

They will hold up mirrors
Until you take off
Your ugly mask

The most feared among us
Just wants to bask
In love’s sunshine

Next to the rest of us
On the shores
Of heaven’s ocean

Some get fed by people
Some get fed by nature
But all can taste the silvery liquid
Of love’s grace.

Why can’t we make love all day long?
A wordless exchange
The perfect give and take
A common purpose
A shared goal

Why can’t we speak the same language
When we are talking?
We push all the wrong buttons
And say things we don’t mean.
We are lovers in the bedroom
And strangers on the street.

After all these years
You’d think we’d tire of
Making each other suffer
Why can’t we just make love
All day long?

I did an experiment yesterday that turned out very well! I found myself in a position where I was starting to worry about what someone was going to say to me. They had called a few times and I always expect the worst.

Usually in this scenario, my mind starts racing forward and backward, like "what did i do wrong?" or "what’s going to happen next?" I found myself tense, clenching my teeth, breathing very shallow, and realized I had just walked a block and didn’t remember walking past anything.

So I just started looking around at stuff while I walked. I intentionally started to notice things I wouldn’t have noticed before. And all my stress went away! I realized that for all my worrying and planning what I should do next, or what they might say, I had no control over it in the moment ,so I was better off just forgetting about it and live in the moment.

And, don’t you know, it ended up not being a big deal at all. When the person called, I was genuinely in a good mood, not defensive, not reactive. I believe that by changing MY state of mind, that it actually altered the resulting situation in my favor. Of course, I’d have to repeat this feat to prove that hypothesis, but from observational experience, I believe it will work.

Worrying is simply your brain over-working. It gains you nothing and clouds your rational thought and paralyzes the intuitive abilities. You must force the brain to concentrate on the here and now.

I believe this tendency of the brain to overwork fearful stimuli is a big factor in self-destructive behaviors like cutting, drinking, and smoking. People that intentionally cause themselves pain are totally present-minded for that brief period. Others drink to slow the brain down, or smoke to focus the brain. All are trying to overcome the same tsunami of negative thoughts that can wash over a person.

This Thanksgiving, I am especially grateful that the handful of people who read what I write aren’t overly critical, nor do they tell me how ill-informed I am. None of us has a guidebook in this life and we are all humble creatures trying to make sense of everything we are exposed to. I am thankful for my anonimity, the freedom I have to express my opinions and little ideas, and the space I have to be mistaken and learn from those mistakes.

I just saw a homeless man pick flowers in the median, flowers planted by the city. He is going to sell them.

I bought a bouquet like that from a homeless person once, for a dollar. Now I know where they came from. If I had seen him pick them, I wouldn’t have bought them.

I guessed Obama would win the election. Someone bet me he wouldn’t. That was a bet I couldn’t lose so I took it. At the end, I gave him a chance to back out. No? Okay, then vote for Obama and you can keep your money. No? Now I have dirty money. And Obama got one less vote.

And then I realized about everything we buy is stolen. The game is to lay claim to everything of "value." Then you can sell it. We even sell ideas. We even sell music. Things that are part of the collective unconscious.

Do you really think your wealth is all product of your hard work or talent? Fifty percent at best. The rest is luck. Or to the businessman, opportunity.

I guess we buy and sell because we can’t share nicely. Until we learn to all share, some have to steal while the rest of us buy their stolen property.

Lesson Learned Today: Self-depricating generosity never goes unpunished.

Don’t give more than you can afford to unless you are obeying a direct order from God.

Bank of America must not be doing too well these days. My estimated wait time is 125 minutes. It has been 63 minutes so far. I may go crazy listening to their theme song another hour.

du-duduuu-dudu, du-duduuu-dudu, du-duduuu-dudu-duuuuuuuu….

Have Not
Want Not

The things you own so easily own you.
Want Not,
And if you’re really serious
Have Not.

Living for others is an easy way to know God.
How can you serve others when you are collecting from them?
How can you minister to others when you are climbing over their backs?
To pass through the eye of that needle
Into the expansive life of bliss and freedom
One must be naked and humble

In the end
You can’t take it with you
Love God or love money.
You cannot serve two masters.

Have Not
Want Not