When life starts squeezing you
Uncomfortably tight
The pressure builds
I don’t wanna start a business
I hate that word
Busyness
I wanna be an artist
I wanna invite love and good things
I wanna start in the flow
No more forcing
No more
Stop forcing me
Stop striving
Stop breathing down my neck
You snake

It’s a beautiful day
And everyone’s depressed
We’re in transition
So over this year
Itching to move on
Something’s not right
It’s a little too hot
Tired
Uninspired
Conditions not right
Done helping
Stop fucking asking
Start taking
Start empowering yourself
Once everyone wakes up
It’s gonna be one hell of a party.
One third through one hundred years.
About time I woke up.

Seeing the whole
Without falling in it.

Insanely wealthy
And morally bankrupt
Is this what we’ve become?
Dollars talk to politicians
Suits getting paid to talk
Puppets of mass destruction
Erode the rules
And control the riots

As much as we like freedom
There is no freedom where there are no boundaries

Our children are off limits
Our homes are off limits
Our food is off limits
Our bodies are off limits
Our education is off limits
Our sex is off limits
Our media is off limits
You can’t keep taking

Does anyone love America anymore?
Or has she been too permissive
Too indulgent
Too open with her legs
Has she been acting too much like a man?

We are not making love to her
All these dirty businessmen spending all their time with their mistresses
Treating her like the loveless wealthy wife
The necessary nuisance
It takes two to ruin a relationship
Meanwhile, no one is loving her, so
Her stewards started pimping her out
And now she’s crying
On the floor of the whorehouse.

Pushing others
Pushing self
Being sophisticated/perceptive
About what is possible
Knowing breakthroughs happen
After sustained effort
Not after a sudden push?
Learning to question
Even declarations
How true is it?
How complete the work?
Words can be subtle
Forms of deceit, lies, manipulation
Covers-up
For shoddy workmanship
You can craft a hollow golden ship
With your words
Which will never sail
It will tip in the first winds
Words stronger than effort
Dedication

How soft can a heart be?
Can I reach yours
By revealing mine, or by shattering your shield?
They all keep going away
Do my words push them
Or my actions
Do I want them to leave?
Scattered my seeds
Can’t plant where there’s no water
I need love
Have I become something you want?
Can you rest against the soft pillow of my heart?
Do I hold you to the best without killing your spirit?
I err on the side of force, of overkill, of overlove, of best intentions and generosity
I show mercy b/c I’ve been shown mercy
But don’t have what I want
Always have what I need
Needed lots of freedom
As much as a cat would give
You let me hike in the wilderness
And search the depths of my mind
And find the sweetest spots on my body
And travel to the most dangerous countries
Eat the most exotic foods
Experience a world way outside my trailer court
You all let me go and go and go
And miss you–
And pine for your love and comfort
And the oblivion of your caresses
The highs of your tall tales
I had to work out every last ounce of freedom so that I could know myself
And it cost me everything I had
And it was worth it

And now
A new phase
A more subtle exploring of us
Now that I’ve been ripped apart
And exposed for who I can be
I can choose the good qualities
And buffer the others
And stop showing you so much of me–
Since I’m already well-acquainted
And start talking about you.

Found out the long way
I don’t want what I want
I want what WE want
It has more magic

A non-journey journey
Suddenly
Exploring
Lost all the pretense
Now free to move about the cabin
Waking up to my desires
Those sirens, which seduce
And destroy everything I am not

Delicious
The juice of this moment
Sour, dry, a slight sparkle
It kills me without killing me
It’s magic

Sitting on the dock of my energy
Watching time go by
I’ve come so far
I can’t go back
Wondering
Why these compulsions
What good could come of them
And dying to escape
The rational

We snuck in the side gate
It wasn’t my idea
Ivy creeping up on
An old institution
Crumbling, Dark, Abandoned
Once great
A basement full of dusty memos,
Signed promises, and
Forgotten records
Old news
It’s unhealthy in here
The lead
Asbestos
A dead pigeon
The news is forty years old
As I hurried out,
She saw me rush
“Are you with Property Management?”
No.
“So you don’t belong here.”
She stated sternly
Yep,
I said,
That’s why I’m leaving.