Pain is an illusion
These bodies come and go
Cells die and turn to dust
The pain is in your brain
Hurt is a story
That usually isn’t true
Stop lying to yourself,
God has such wondrous plans for you
When you are sad
Listen to the narrative that plays inside your head
You can bullshit yourself
Cause fear is built into us all
Though no one else would buy your stories
You would buy them and embellish
Replay them and relive them
Make yourself sick with every sentence
Start to be your own best friend
Listen critically to your thoughts
Examine them for truth and love
So things will go more well for you

Sometimes you’re my cloud
On a sunny day
The weight of your insecurities
Rains on me
While I glisten in the sunshine
And yet people keep coming into my life
At just the right times
Feeding my curiosities
Building me up
I’m going to be shining so brightly soon
Will you shine with me?

Still reeling from the wonder of it all
I’ve experienced the Universe’s
Always perfect actions
In shockingly minute detail
And I’m in awe
Of the machinery of Life

Some call it God, a process
Some call it Love, a collective caring

Some are famed for the chunks they have broken out and understood
The scientists, the poets, the preachers
The parts are entertaining

But I want to wrap my head around the Universe
I want to feel the energy from every last packet of light vibrating against me like a giant massaging bath
A sea of static bliss

I want to comprehend the whole system
Before I die
Give me everything you’ve got
Astrology and religion and science and yoga and naivety
And everything

Those of us
That have grown up with scarcity
Sometimes have difficulty
Accepting the abundance
That Life has to offer

We think
Surely this is the best
I have ever had
And if I lose it
There can be nothing more for me

When you are not in the Room
God laughs at your limited thinking!
For even now he is preparing to surprise you
Beyond your imagination…

I’ve not yet allowed joy
To take up permanent residence
I still fill up the silence
I still assert my will
Demanding doors be knocked down
Life is still not as easy
As it could be
I want the peace of the sages
The knowing that my best interest
Has already been accounted for
I still need lessons and teachers
Because I’m still marching in front
Of God’s army

One day
In my spare time

I will have deduced a formula
For a life of abundance

It will be so simple
And elegant

A love equation

The whole world
Will be seduced

I’m done with this brain
It makes me insane
It sorts my emotions
With stories of pain
That aren’t even true
Run away, run away
The tiger will kill you
Save us! Save yourself!
Fear moves feet
And mine want to be moved
I must quiet this mind
Make it chase what I choose

I’m so lucky
To have tasted love
Straight out of a fairytale
With magic
And journeys
And characters so rich
We dreamed
And found each other

I saw a hummingbird
And
A thousand butterflies left my stomach
I guessed you felt it too
Cuz we are both anxious
I’m loud about it
And you stay silent
Your love is a thousand thank yous
Are you my Teacher? Lover? Friend?
The signs say stay
But you feel like my mortal enemy
Your water keeps putting out my fire
And I only light up for you
I’m at the DNA lounge
Devastated again
I keep inviting you in
And your life keeps leaving me
I need your hands on my body
Your voice in my ears
Your scent in my air
Because you’re so much more tangible
Than my God

In four years
I all but forgot how to have fun
I thought free time was a luxury I couldn’t afford
Friends were an afterthought
Pleasure meant I wasn’t working hard enough
Or late enough
I would be happy when…
When…
When?