Living with a bias
Study your brain
Know that whatever you think
Comes from a fire internal
Constantly burning
Citius, Altius, Fortius
Through the ages
Faster, Higher, Stronger

Sensitivity
Is the mother of intelligence
But survival goes to the fittest
Not the smartest
Not the wisest
And many will cry, “No more pollution!”
And many will cry, “No more poison!”
But the engines will turn
Because
Faster, Higher, Stronger

Even when there are no more mountains
No more enemies
Nothing left to destroy

The sensitive will say “no”!
And die of the poisons.
The rich get so high
The world becomes Disneyland
New dreams to ignite
And we throw our money into a web
Which takes us down a million tunnels
Full of funhouse mirrors
And new worlds to create

Because like a lover
We miss our better halves
But we came here alone and we’ll leave here alone
And we’ll remember ourselves with fondness

Gods or saints or benevolent rulers
We practice again and again
And the winners write the history books
So the arc of the moral universe
Is a painting in progress
And surely it will bend toward justice
Or whatever we are in the mood for

Want to capture this day
A win
not sure what the future holds
more wins
or catastrophe
but today i made progress
less an imposter
kindness and compassion feel right
gotta do me

A long awakening
All the observations
And bad advice, like:
You already know.

Somehow knowing
I didn’t want to die a virgin
So it was time to forget the rings
And start exploring
Being so glad I did
And years later
Sending those vibrations back to my younger self:

This is it
This is why
Glory is here
Meaning divined

She digs through the trash
Afraid to just ask
She plays detective
Tapes the shreds of paper back together
Both flattered and hurt by what she reads
She’s a little stronger now

Playing a scientist
She’s obsessed with the truth
Can’t relate to a human
Operating system beyond logic
She sees the world in binaries
And gets angry a lot

She wants the world to be other than it is
Her actions become futile
Her stories, irrelevant
She spins her wheels
And waits for a savior
Grabbing at shiny objects and holding on to them too long

Her bravery overcame her
Too big for the bank account
She folded
Learned to be brave in new ways
Ask a stranger for subway fare
Hitchhike
Then, the bravest, accepting a partner

Resolutions are too quaint
This year is a Renaissance
Covered in paint and red glitter
Needing to create
Consuming too much

Getting back in touch with energy
Developing a mindset–no, a mind flow
Talking to the universe
Not always fighting

Were the dark ages caused by men’s minds
Turning to darkness?
Or did the light warriors lay down and die?

Well, this is my Renaissance

I picked up her urn tonight
Just to feel her weight again
And imagined her current state of consciousness
Now that she no longer has a cat body
And I wonder
Since you can experience sugar’s highly vibrating crystal consciousness by eating sugar
Psychedelic mushroom consciousness by eating a mushroom
If she has acute awareness now
Having swallowed death into her veins
Of being formless
Brainless
Senseless
And if she counts her life in millennia instead of minutes
And if she yearns to die to her nothingness
And experience life again

Bursting on the scene
Dejavu
Too this, not enough that
Truth is, we don’t know you
Not sure if we can trust you
What are you all about?

How should I know?
We are 80% our environment and I don’t know what that is yet
But I won’t be awed by your tall buildings
I won’t feel shut out from your cafes
I will make friends
Build intimacy

Go deep and reach for roots
Surely someone here has a heart I can grow with

Excruciating
The planning of one’s life
I much prefer the just doing
The pressure, like a trap room where the ceiling slowly lowers
The narrowing down of options into the retroactively obvious one
The reinvention
I should love it
But I’m tired
And I can’t afford to be

What is beyond our dreams?
When there is nothing to do or be
What is this drive
Does it copulate like I do?
Send me to someone who will open new doors for me?

I dove deep
And I’m not the one, not the one
But I can’t tell them that
When my presence can give life

We are all vibrating
Different frequencies
Gathering to resonate
No, no, no, no
Finally a yes
Don’t water what you don’t want to grow
Fuck your jobs
Make love to them
As if they made you deliriously happy

Except in our country
We build to eat
A game of grow grow grow
But some of us are tired of the game
We want a new game

Where would authenticity take us?
Or is it just testosterone disguised as honesty?
Can I be reduced to my chemistry
My fucked-up overdrive traced back through my bloodlines
Nature rewarding the over-strivers

Ah–never thought of it that way
Nature rewarding the consumer with her bounty
As if it were her idea

But it’s not
It’s a dance
We move, she moves

(Can we trust the hive-mind to lead our steps? Or do we need better leadership?)

I digress

Tonight I’m empty
I have no dreams
This feels like a great loss
Like a pity
So unAmerican

I’m back in high school
An achiever with no community
No one to love
I venture out of my cave
Belong or create

Or can I just breathe

What does unemployment mean
Such a sterile word
So many must know now
Google
Depression/suicide, stress, unhealthy habits, risks of addiction, loneliness, isolation, loss of skills, reduced quality of life, lower pay for all, loss of trust in government/political instability

I feel that pain
I’ve courted this lover
And we all need to keep pulling people out of the muck
Trust in your spirit
Which has a destiny mapped by the choices of your ancestors
Within the freedom granted by your environment

And just dance

My mind is a bright and bustling place
Lots of colors and noises and music and pictures
I’ve learned to sit with it in total silence
And you wonder what it is that gives it life?
Could it all stop working in an instant
Can I notice its slow decay?
The chemistry keeps it healthy
Lots of positive happy vibes