Follow your heart
The brain is full of bad ideas
The world loves a winner
Someone grateful
Someone hopeful
Expecting the best
But not attached to the outcome
The wisdom to know one’s place
To respect other’s
And to marvel and enjoy the chaotic inbetween
Someone who is comfortable in the not knowing
Without being lazy
Comfortable without entitlement
Comfortable without apathy
Comfortable with a spark
Someone who can dance while seated
And endure
And stay engaged
Someone who reacts
Shows emotion
Someone alive
Who brings out the fire in you

It’s time to start enjoying myself
Life is not so serious
Or rather
Seriousness is not rewarded

Meditating on a pier in Long Beach
A seal or sea lion performs for free
Delighting all
Who aspires to a grueling life?

Wary
Of preachers
Of those with conviction
The know-it-alls
What have YOU seen?

This is not time for self-aggrandizement
We are not to look for our opportunity to hop on the fame ship
Life ain’t 15 minutes
It’s a marathon

Movies will have you believe it was
The right thing said or done
At the right time
But the truth is always messier
Less glamorous
And much harder fought

Leaders need to lead
She told me
Do as I do or have done
Not just as I say

This is a time for introspection
Not answers
Though everyone wants to be the savior
And we all can get weak around a hero

We can sure accomplish a lot when it doesn’t matter who gets the credit

Me and my patterns
An astrologer friend noted
Building and destroying
Building and destroying

The chaos in the ashes
Painful
But
Like the agony of childbirth
Forgotten with time

Maybe I’m there again
Uprooted so suddenly
The death of my cat
Back at work the next day
Gave her stuff away
The look on his face

And now am I okay?
Or am I stuck in overdrive?
Supposed to be resting
Living the beach lifestyle

The Jenga blocks got pulled
One at a time
Until I’m crumpled on the floor
Starting over again

Is this hard coded
Or avoidable?
Or am I going first
Into the storms of our future?

At least a soft heart to fall onto this time
House of cards
Hands of fate
Build again

Talking to my right hand
The ankle makes a noise
Even though it’s me I’m still surprised
The joy of sober consciousness

Tunneling down on a spiral candy cane drill
I wonder how many mirrors will I see when I talk
As if the sanest thing to do is pretend like having a body and a brain is normal
Oh! The places you’ll go!

And wonder if everyone is just working through their own illusions
Or if they’re all really just yours
And forgetting to treat others how you’d want to be treated
Because the impulses are too strong

Maybe run to the end of the earth
And let the wind caress you in an air bath that smells like heaven
And see all the beautiful colors
And remind yourself of the power of your fantasies
And ask yourself if you’d like to spend your whole life wrestling your demons,
Or worse,
Someone else’s

And realize that you got exactly what you asked for
And if it’s not enough
Then you ask for more
Or decide on a new strategy

And don’t forget energetic shifts
Imagining who you want to be
Who you want more of
What qualities are you done with?
Inviting the new reality to surround you so you can act within its parameters

But, like the virgin who waited for her wedding night
It all comes so suddenly
Nobody likes to adapt quickly
Now you’ve lost your identity

Caught between two worlds
Home in my body and mind
Home in the stars, the voids, the emptiness
So much food for thought in this life
Saving it up for a rainy day
Hard to come by in California
But one day they’ll all slow down again
I’ll just press on
Handling all these things
Wondering if I’ve lost my vision again

Stomach turning
On my last nerve
Something’s got to give
Working
Track it
How much time do I give you
And what is left for me?
Many years of taking
While I was giving
Somehow the karma didn’t balance out
Still paying for my mistakes
Libra wants to settle the scores
Right the wrongs
Took on too much
Running
And assembling
And doing for others
And trying to grow together
Turning self-destructive
When no progress can be made
Productivity grinds to a halt
Feeling the pressures
On a week like today
Am I being smart enough?
Am I watering the plants enough
Or too much?
And what about art?
I have a lot to say
Now I lay me down to sleep…

Want to stay documented
Jumping out of another fishbowl

Tonight I smile
And sneeze
Today I rested
So few opportunities for that
And things moved forward
Just like Taurus thought they would
Apparently

So another night
Missing my baby
Up too late
Yet grateful for the distance
So I can stay focused

Reflecting on
Communication
Sudden urges to uproot and destroy
Scarcity and its companion, the devourer