A lump in my throat
But pride in my step
My training was perfect
I am ready and excited
For all that can be
It's within my reach

A healthy distaste
That squeezes the heart
Similar enough
But worlds apart
A push of a magnet
Of opposite pole
Your actions a joke
Your words burn as coal
In the furnace that fuels
My escape from this earth
Distanced from you
Finding my truth

Clear the clutter
Find a place
Make some space
For magic

Blue faced clowns
With jester hats
Scratching at the door
Looking for flowers and grass and sunshine
But there's a leak and water's on the floor

A gun to the head of a faithful friend
Sometimes they just kill themselves
But if we are what they were
There's order in chaos
And comfort in order
So life marches on
In predictable succession
It all makes sense when they're gone

Then back to the bliss
Behind our brains, pull the curtains
And stop the show
And the sounds and color of black infinity
Silence the narration that rocks the boat

I'm dying on the inside
And I keep on dropping bombs
One by one
Down my throat
I moan and miss my mom
I no longer pause before killing
All offenders must be put down
One by one
Stoic and focused
Fiercely claiming my ground

Let us be known
Not for how we drag or push
But how we make room
For a soul to bloom
What is the key that unlocks their door?
Where are the wounds to their inner child?
Step aside and let the fresh breeze in
As gentle as palms on a crystal ball
Or a hand on the skin of a grieving friend
Guard my actions like my words
And know you are safe under my wing

Everyday I'm adjusting myself
Everyday I look at what I need to change
Ain't no shame in my game
I believe in being calm
They say they don't believe in God
But God is the first word out of their mouth
When things go wrong

Softly drifting toward my dreams
Weaving scenes, colors bleed
Shed the stress
Melts off the bed
Cradled, cushioned
Fearless, dead

Perfection without passion
Or passion sans perfection
Both are incomplete
But don't tell me perfect is a myth
That's something losers say
When they've failed along the way
Resurrect the vision
Up your dose of discrimination
Send your energy in the right direction
Perfection is a framework
That guides human effort
Ever striving, never despairing
Passion patches up the voids

I'm tired of the fear
The panic attacks
When my name is called
I want to live like honey
And float in milk