Uh-Oh-Om

Paying for information
Seems antiquated and it’s not even outlawed yet
The soup of my mind
Thoughts swimming
Collected by the brain I grew and managed
Stored and retrieved by processes I hardly control
What’s yours is now mine
And mine, yours
We’re becoming more connected
That’s obvious
My eggs live outside my body now
And my life grows in other beings
And soon you will know my thoughts
Before I have a chance to rearrange them on the internet
Then it will be so many more words
Than Facebook or Twitter could hold
We might as well give up
And start listening for frequencies
We’ll be one big buzz
Without the joy and drama
Of imperfect communication
An “Uh-Oh-Om”
When we all come together

Dark with Joy

Now I live among the stars
Diving into them at night
Headfirst on a big box bus
Lots of hills to call my own
People pay to walk my streets
Go where few have gone before
Take the road less traveled-by
No longer strangers
All are neighbors
Living in each other’s dreams
Buying pleasure by the quarter
Feeling guilt for overload
But too much work won’t bring you joy
Since joy is always there to seize

Mind Games

Striving and driving and thinking too much
Obsessing, controlling
Not sure when to move
Emotions and thoughts
A million impulses
More words to explain how we ought to behave
And what’s happy?
And are we happy?
And do we deserve to be?
And are we marching off to nowhere
Or sleeping just too long
And would more trophies on the wall
Require more or different effort?
Life was structured
Now freestyling
Not sure how to win at this game

Week 3 of 6 done: no wheat, sugar, dairy, trans-fats

It’s starting to feel more like a habit, or new lifestyle this week. It’s interesting for me to note just how much stuff I turn down on a daily basis. For example, today I turned down (vegan) doughnuts, caramel popcorn, a ton of cheese and chocolate, just to name a few.

I’m having more quinoa (I like it for breakfast with rice milk/cinnamon/raisins or with leftover indian food). I had Mexican food for BREAKFAST one day, and it was great – black beans, guacamole, tacos, corn, salsa, chicken. I might do that a couple days a week. Had a great big salad using marinated chicken as the dressing. For desserts, having bananas and raw chocolate/peanut butter and I ate a ton of baby coconuts with yummy coconut water this week (like 6!). I gave up microwave popcorn after learning the commercial variety can have carcinogens in the bag lining. Loving salted almonds as a snack, and enjoying the decaf, sugar-free 5-Hour Energy shots when possible. I’ve been drinking more coffee for some reason.

I’ve found the hardest food items to avoid this week were ketchup, sugar in soy milk or coconut milk creamer for coffees, dairy in chicken dishes in the sauce preparation, and beer, mixed drinks, or (ahem) jello shots. I feel like more sugar and dairy snuck into my diet this week in the prepared foods I had when eating out, but I think the wheat stayed out pretty well. I’m going to avoid the coffee creamers unless I know for sure they are sugar-free this week.

I love the way my stomach looks this week. I think there’s something about turning down foods you don’t need and being disciplined that makes a big difference when it all adds up (over the past 21 days). For example, today at the Oscar party, I ate a bunch of raw asparagus, carrots, even a raw pepper slice with my corn chips & chili. In the past I would have slathered my chili with all the cheeses and sour cream on the table and gnawed down on the caramel corn and chocolates being offered. I feel awesome just practicing making good decisions, and it’s not like I’m suffering. I love the healthy food I’m eating. It tastes amazing and makes me feel only good. It’s just that the food I crave would make me feel instantly 10x better, then, only afterward, worse. I can see how this will be a hard balance to strike in the future when I’m not as fully committed (or I may just continue down the path for the most part; I’m really getting used to this).

And I don’t know if this is a coincidence but my libido is very high and healthy, I’m totally maxing out my romantic life and loving it. That may just be the fabulous romantic month of Pisces rolling in backed up by the Neptune in Pisces cycle that is here to stay for a looong time. **bats eyelashes** YaY

On to week four!

My Dream

Waking up in this world
Touching a few of the colors that swirl
You make my heart race
Owning what you’ve always wanted
Just as easy as changing your mind
Can’t make you smile unless
I’m dancing to a song I like
Can you hear the music?
Or are you still doing what you’re told?

Zombie Love

Zombie Love
I’m that irresistible creature
With an insatiable love for the dead
Squeezing in between you and your laptop
For a little cryptic lap dance
Lighting a torch in the cave of your heart
Are you in there?
Hello?
Am I the only one on this train
Who wants to live while I’m alive?
Guess I’ll keep throwing pebbles into
Black pools until one day
I’m rocked by the waves I get back

Week 2 of 6 done: No sugar, wheat, dairy, trans-fats

This week involved a bit more creativity. I bought some gluten-free flours and experimented with banana quinoa-flour muffins and banana bread. Amazed to learn that 3/4 tsp. stevia = 3/4 C. sugar in a recipe, for same amount of sweetness (without the crack-like high nor addiction, however). Banana muffins were slightly overcooked (gluten-free recipes don’t take as long to cook, major bonus!) so were not delicious.

Banana bread was ALMOST good. That’s a high a compliment as I could give it. Unfortunately, without the sugar the dough is not as tasty, so any slight undercooking brings out the flavors of the flour (chick-pea flour stood out, not in a good way). Maybe coconut and rice flours would be better ideas for this bread. I am a bit of a banana bread snob and cannot tolerate odd flavors. It needed more than 2 bananas, too. But it was quite delicious as french toast the next morning, and found a Rice-Pecan gluten-free, sugar-free bread at Rainbow that was also delicious as french toast.

This diet seems to have made me more alcohol-sensitive. Went out on Valentine’s day and was highly intoxicated after just over 3 drinks. Ate half a cliff-bar powerbar in my toxic state (which I knew contained sugar but was the only food around), and proceeded to vomit it all up, so that was a blessing in disguise, at least for the diet, haha. Two drink limit from now-on. Good thing my date was cool and understanding.

Met a woman in her late forties, I’m guessing, mother of two, with beautiful skin, totally healthy, and she said she was just on her first week of gluten-free and sugar-free after the holidays. She said she feels much better, less bloated when she does that. When a beautiful person tells me what they do to stay healthy, I listen ;-) Also reference: www.rosecole.com

Anyway…

That reminds me of the most beautiful girl I had ever met. We met at a summer camp in Montana. She had perfect skin and teeth, long, lush dark hair, and was so gorgeous that boys our age would not dare approach her, so she seemed to be alone a lot. I befriended her like a little puppy dog, and one thing she said to me made an impression. I was eating a piece of candy, offered her one, and she refused. She said she only has about 5 pieces of candy a year. A YEAR. Basically, she never ate sugar. I thought that would probably be impossible for me.

So, keeping on with my beauty diet…ha :-)

Also, I’ve been eating Omega-Three eggs and taking fish oil, and no more bumps on the backs of my arms, yay!

F— the world, Lil’ Wayne, and 5-Hour Energy

It took a dose of 5-Hour Energy drink (caffeinated, couldn’t find decaf in 4 stores on entire campus) for me to understand what Lil’ Wayne was talking about: “Fuck the world, and get a child out her.”

Well, I’m sure he meant something a little different, but it started to make sense to me like this: There’s a human tendency to take the path of least resistance, go with the flow, don’t rock the boat, keep on keeping on, etc., that is obviously prevalent in every day life (and ripe with cliches). We see this in government, we see this in some of our parents, we see this in the older generation doing things the way they’ve always been done, resisting change, resisting improvement.

Fucking requires a level of energy beyond that.

School is a place of hope. Universities are a place of “I want to move to another level.” Education necessarily requires us to put energy in in order to get something out. Not unlike the passionate act of, shall we say, making love, and creating a child.

But how many people do you see “fucking the world”? Seems like most are still trying to survive it, like it’s some kind of abusive relationship or something.

To get something that no one else around you has, you have to be willing to do something that no one else around you will do.

If you just pictured smuggling 50 kilos of cocaine across the border in a private plane, try again ;-)

Try something passionate, full of love, something scary, something no one else around you dares to do, that will push you to the next level. Then get ready for the next level of awesome.

Thanks Lil’ Wayne…and 5-Hour Energy