Jezuz, I can’t believe it’s only been 13 days into this experiment. Now I’m starting to wonder how much hormones are involved in this eyesight thing, and/or how much they can work against your morale.

I have stopped using hormonal contraceptives, as of a couple days ago. So I think my quick change in mood today about this project has more to do with hormonal changes than anything else. I read a British study from like 2008 that showed women were more attracted (by scent) to men of similar genetics when on oral contraceptives. No thank you.

So, today, I went a bit too long without eating and ended up buying a crappy “oatmeal raisin” cookie (no visible oatmeal nor raisins in the cookie, as discovered after the purchase) and a piece of coffee cake for lunch at my least favorite local coffee shop near the BART station. Which probably kicked off an insulin spike and crash which led to a dinner of pasta and ice cream for a midnight snack.

Which leads me now to a tearful, reflective mood, and a slight, generally negative disposition.

Bearing that in mind, I did not sense any real vision improvement today. I did my eye exercises tonight (while trying to recover from a beat-up hammer-throwing spine) and noticed some tearing-up during certain exercises. Kind of a sign they were working?

Enough of today already. On to better nutrition and mood tomorrow, hopefully!

Survived an outdoor music festival for one day. Had a great time dancing and not feeling any judgments from people’s eyes. Very freeing. Worked the eyes trying to see objects clearly on stage. Slacked on muscular eye exercises. Did most of the before tonight but not all of them.

I am an eye ninja.

I’m starting to wonder if this isn’t more a test of positive thinking and paradigm shifts.

Riding my bike 30 minutes to work, about 10 minutes in I’m starting to hate everything being slightly blurry again, and questioning my own good judgement for doing this stupid experiment in the first place.

Then, I relax. Change my mind. Imagine as vividly as possible that my eyes could instantly see everything clearly and crisply, and, as I relax, my vision does improve. Slightly, but noticeably. My jaw also relaxes and starts to feel sore (I’ve been chewing a pack of gum this week).

I wonder that if I could just accept a new paradigm -that my eyes are perfectly healthy and capable of perfect sight, if I could trick my brain into using another section or new wiring schematic or something to help me see better.

When I imagine that my eyes work perfectly, I can actually feel them trying to work perfectly. I have to physically relax the eye muscles to give them breaks when they strain, but they are working. I wonder just how much stock there can be in the fact of exercising just the 3 pairs of eye muscles to improve eyesight. I wonder if those eye muscles are at all responsible for the overall shape of the eye, therefore causing distortion if one of the pairs is not optimally functioning.

I notice that the eye exercise that bothers/strains my eyes the most is “drawing” lines from the floor up to the ceiling in the far left and right sides of each eye. Second to that one I suppose is “drawing” circles on the ceiling, looking up.

So there are 2 things going on that I can observe. My eyes themselves seem to strain/bulge to see distant objects, especially if I focus on staying relaxed in the face and the mind. This feels like exercise, and exercise tells the brain that it needs to change, so this makes me feel a little more optimistic.

Secondly, I am doing many eye exercises that do not involve focus, just controlled movement of the eyes. The only way I could imagine this improving vision is by slightly changing the tension on the eyeball itself, AND by bringing circulation to worked parts of the eye at the attachment sites.

I went to the big Safeway grocery store in Potrero tonight and just for fun tried to look for organic wheat pasta (unsuccessfully, haha). That was an excellent eye exercise in focusing on the overhead isle labels and then individual items. I may just start doing that daily or every other day for the practice! It was quite challenging.

To science, and positive thinking…

It’s terrifying going out at night with blurry vision. It reminds me of the time I had traveled to Pakistan in planes, got out of the airport in Karachi, and was blinded for a good 45 minutes. I couldn’t see due to the light level change. No fun stepping foot onto foreign soil without your vision.

Today my eyesight adapted some after walking outside for a few minutes at night. People’s faces still totally unreadable, went to fashion showing and out dancing at club. Did 2×100 near/far today plus normal routine.

Not feeling less blind. There must be a more scientific way to do the near/far exercises so that improvement can be monitored.

Whether or not my vision is improving, it seems not wearing glasses/contacts is making my romantic life exponentially better day by day. Ironic that I attract even better-looking men when I can’t actually see them clearly. Pause for your joke. Ok. Possible my blurry vision boosts my self-confidence and deactivates my give-a-damn. N-E-way…

Having said that, I did do 2×100 near/far eye exercises today in addition to the other 13 exercises, vast improvement over yesterday. As housemate R said, “Even God took one day out of seven off!”. Love ego-pumping enablers in my life. Me and God, on the same page.

One online test I took said my vision was 20/20 in my left eye and 20/100 in my right, which would be great if it were true, seeing as I’ve started at 20/50 (L) and 20/300 (R), respectively. Kinda doubt the validity of that test, however.

I will hold fast and keep on until end of the month.