Goal Achievement: Don’t let Perfect be the Enemy of the Good

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I’ve found that most people scoff at New Year’s resolutions. They set a few goals, make a couple days’ or weeks’ progress on a rigid schedule, then fall off the horse, only never to get back on, reporting a “failed” resolution. They resolve never to set such goals again, from the experience that goal-setting inevitably leads to failure. What such people are lacking is not resolution; rather people often fail to be flexible and adaptable with their resolutions when obstacles are presented. Many iterations are needed to make a change in lifestyle. It is rare that a goal will be implemented perfectly as planned, because you cannot possibly anticipate all the consequences (good and bad) of your new behaviors.I have been making detailed New Year’s resolutions for 3 or 4 years now, and I have made significant changes in my lifestyle as a result. The tips I will share do not have to apply just to New Year’s, of course. The process I use can be applied to any new decision to reach a goal.

First, I take my list and sort my resolutions into things I want to accomplish daily, weekly, monthly, and within the year.

I post these resolutions in a place I will see them every day (for me that is as an image on my computer desktop).

I then take specific actions right away on each item to set me up for success. This is a framework, if you will, that makes it more possible to achieve a goal. For example, I may have to “schedule” time to do the items. In the case of wanting to read a chapter a day from a book, I had to physically put a book in my backpack so I would be more likely to read while on public transportation.

I wanted to study Chinese every day for 15 minutes, so I set up an arbitrary recurring appointment time at 8pm to do that. I see it every day on my Blackberry or my Google Calendar so I am reminded to do it daily. I try it for a couple of weeks. I realize that I am busy most nights at 8pm so that isn’t really working out very well. I end up studying right before bed, or at random times, or some days not at all. So I don’t give up and call it a failure, I just think about it for a few days and figure out how I can better incorporate this into my schedule. I find that my schedule itself is not as structured as I had imagined it to be in the first place. It may take more time and data to actually plan a time to study. So in the meantime, on days when I have more time, I study longer to sort of make up for the days I missed, and don’t stress if I miss a day here and there. This is PROGRESS! If my schedule becomes more regular, it will be much easier, but in the meantime, I must remain flexible as well, and go with the flow!

I had a goal to do Yoga poses and meditation daily, so I set an alarm for 7am daily to do this. Keep in mind that I had this goal last year, didn’t put it on my calendar, and ended up doing it only about 2-3 times a month. So, I find after 4 weeks that I don’t really feel like doing my yoga poses daily. My sleep schedule is still too varied, my exercise schedule makes me feel more active on some days and like totally resting on others. I naturally end up doing it every 2-3 days, and that feels good. I end up meditating at random times every other day or so. So did I fail at my resolution? NO! I made a significant progress toward a goal, and the extent of my change is working for me, for now. SUCCESS!

I think people just put too hard a WIN/LOSE on goal achievement, and as a result, miss out on a lot of real progress in the direction they want their lives to go. Never give up on your goals! It may take several iterations in lifestyle (and sometimes a couple years!) to get yourself there, and at the WORST, you will find that your specific (and often arbitrary) goal itself wasn’t truly in your best interest and that a modified goal is actually better for you. Patience and flexibility in COMBINATION with discipline and smart perseverance will get you the results you want in life.

Better

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Why not spend forever
Woven in this embrace?
Never fell so hard
For someone so worth loving.
I thanked God today
For a man that inspired me
To hike up my hills
The way I used to know how.
You were just what I needed
Without meaning to be.
Every day I get better for knowing you.

2011-01-25 EDIA Meeting Notes

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Salesforce.com will soon be largest employer in san fran

$26billion deficit, 51% to approve budget in March slashing $13billion (may affect redevelopment of blighted areas), voters to approve $13billion in revenue in June

First $13B – redevelopment, cuts to CSU, in-home services, welfare childcare for work,

Second $13B – K12 education cuts

Revenue: Oil severance tax in most states, change tax system on high income individuals

Republicans want to cater to rich, dems want to cater to poor

Not enough general funds for local money for safety, health services

Local governments to be given ability to raise sales taxes to cover local services

Patti-parking ideas: smaller cars? Creative permitting?
-many more tenants in residential neighborhoods

You can park in front of someone's garage as long as they are not using it as a garage/passageway (i.e. Garage is full).

Man Up

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Wanna take your heart of glass
And shatter it on the concrete
Fucking tired of the soft skin
Over hesitant calculating circuitry
You know how you feel
Stop fitting my words into your formulas
Need someone more reactive
Someone more willing to punch a hole into my chest
Rip my heart out
And talk to me about it
Can't stand ballet
I wanna tango

Gone

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Too shy to write you
Don't know if you feel the same
I'm hoping it's just hormones
That are causing my pain
It's killing me to think
Of your eyes searching mine
Of your cheek on my cheek
Your voice and your scent
Your fingers on my skin
Knowing it will be months
Until I feel you again

Charisma Lane

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Found this really profound quote on charismalane.com (Charisma Lane’s website):

“After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaving and company doesn’t mean security. And you begin to understand that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises. And you begin to understand your defeats with your head held high and your eyes open with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child. You learn to build your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn you really are strong and you really do have worth. And you learn, and learn, and learn, with every goodbye you learn.” 

 
  –Veronica A. Shoffstall

Emotionally Immersed

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My rough edges
Smoothing down
Been tossed around
In the river of this life
No point in fighting the currents
The scenery will tell you everything
Just look around
Really look
You are cooking in a stew
And the other ingredients
Are right there with you
They’re reading the same recipe

Siderailed

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Drifted into a side-cove
Sat there for a long time
Getting rocked by the waves
And doing nothing really about it
I couldn’t see out for the fog
Feeling sorry for myself
I finally took the oars
And found my way back out to sea

Fresh Look

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I heard this song while out jogging with the dog the other night. It's funny how a song sounds new after you've learned some new life lessons! What an awesome song…

Gavin DeGraw

I Don't Wanna Be Lyrics

I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son,

I don't need to be anything other than a specialist's son,

I don't have to be anyone other than the birth of two souls in one,

Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from,

I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been tryin' to be lately,

All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind,

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wonder what I gotta do,

Or who I'm supposed to be,

I don't wanna be anything other than me,

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn,

I'm surrounded by impostors everywhere I turn,

I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn,

Am I the only one to notice?

I can't be the only one who's learned,

I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been tryin' to be lately,

All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind,

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wonder what I gotta do,

Or who I'm supposed to be,

I don't wanna be anything other than me,

Can I have everyone's attention please?

If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave,

I came from the mountains,

The crust of creation,

My whole situation made from clay to stone,

And now I'm telling everybody,

I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been tryin' to be lately,

All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind,

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wonder what I gotta do,

Or who I'm supposed to be,

I don't wanna be anything other than me,

I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been tryin' to be lately,

All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind,

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wonder what I gotta do,

Or who I'm supposed to be