I am perfect, whole, and complete
And that feels like the truth
When I turn my analytics inward
I tear myself and you apart
Thank you for getting so close
That you turned me inside out
I needed to know
No matter what the villagers said
Or what you know or still don't know
That I was beautiful now
Because I spent too many years
With one who didn't love all of me

Not afraid to be first
I put my dripping heart into your hands
Is it getting heavy?

They say character comes out most in a crisis
Well you got all my love, love, love
And I can’t have my sugar
I’ve been known to jump ship
For more stable ground
I’ve got enough vata to sail around the world
And your wind is blowing me in circles
So lie down now, sweet, sparkly, girl
Breathe
You’ve done all you could do today
All the universe wanted you to do
It will never be enough for you
But then, you don’t really know what you want, do you?

How will I ever be a leader
Enslaved by my emotions?
I want the drama
But I don’t want it rocking my boat
I’m content to watch it
Like a landscape
From my peaceful ship
Back on a meditation mission
My happiness will not grow on this rocky ground

Why does he take up so much memory?
My RAM is shot
People meet with me
Just to hear the latest chapter
In my life story
Let's keep it interesting!
I remember a first young love
Holding hands in the school hallway
That was so easy
Unlike falling for a celebrity
The information gap is enormous
How much time would one need
To get to know YOU?
And would it ever feel fair?
I need to dive in and out of you at will
No use living so close to the ocean
Otherwise

You don't understand
How much strength
I've had to muster
Not to throw myself at you
And rest against you
Pulsing
Like a magnet
The hourly fight
To clear my brain of this
Murky flood
Is won only by distraction
Total immersion
In anything else
If I open the window
Just a crack
I drown again

Not sure what else to do
So I will write down some words
Need to focus this mind of mine
Need some routines
Some direction
Counting money was grounding today
God knows I can't be trusted to be
Responsibly emotional
So a clean room might be
The stable launching pad I need
For the days to come

Feeling out fate
Images of the desert
Keep flashing across my mind
And I'm supposed to be there
The idea has been planted
So what's my ticket?
I need this vine to grow another leaf
So I can take a step up
Why am I not being fed tonight?