Me: My credit score is not great. I’ve had a bankruptcy. Maybe I’ll go home and spruce it up a bit first and come back.

New car saleswoman: Oh honey, I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you. It would take an awful lot to impress me the way the economy has been the past few years. I’ve seen it all.

—–
Me: if my cat were an Olympian, what sport would she play?

Aud: Volleyball. She’s good at swatting. And don’t you have to be kind of sneaky to play volleyball?